dari ruyung yang pecah maka sagu bertaburan, 
dari katak yang tidak mati bila menyeberangi jalan, 
dari lembu yang mempertahankan hak namanya, 
dari meja yang ditepuk dan gelas pecah,
dari otak pemikir marhaen yang rendah IQnya, 
dari pandangan serong mata hati, 
dari racauan jiwa yang kacau,
dari kail sejengkal laut dah diduga,
dari anjing yang berjaya meruntuhkan bukit,
dari kelawar yang jaga siang,
dari pungguk yang cuba merindui mentari,
dari tikus yang berjaya membaiki labu,
dari 1Hz ke infiniti,
dan.....

-de' owner-

23 February 2009

tech support 14

Tech :I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure

Tech : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust : I did left click but how the tell do I find your computer?

tech support 13

A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. Thetech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of theCONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later... ..

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

tech support 12

Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

tech support 11

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

tech support 10

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

tech support 9

Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

tech support 8

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

tech support 7

Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

tech support 6

Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one.

tech support 5

Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

tech support 4

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

tech support 3

Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No... "

tech support 2

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?

tech support 1

terimalah lawak jenaka sementara politik kembali panas dah bergolak

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

senyap sunyi

Senyap sunyi je blog ni...

Kena kasi jokes untuk mengendurkan urat urat yang tegang kerana politik

Buat release tension

cuit sikit... dah senyap

teman sempat la juga dengor seperkara dua dalam speach DS Nizar di beberapa lokasi di seluruh bumi perak nih... ader cerita-cerita yang mungkin gagal sampai ke arus perdana nih...isu tanah, isu yb nasa, yb hee... ahli sarkis yang mintak MC tapi isap rokok berkepul...

tetapi yang best yer di sebalik cerita hangat nih ader seperkara dua yang terlepas pandang oleh kita... kalau kome tak tahu, kalau pak lah tak turun ke perak pada petang rampasan kuasa aritu, kemungkinan perak akan mencipta lagi satu rekod, di samping speaker dewan undangan negeri pertama dari golongan bukan melayu... perak mungkin mendapat menteri besar yang pertama dari golongan hawa...

yes benar.... kome mungkin boleh agak siapa yang teman maksudkan... exco wanita kerajaan kudeta, yg hamidah wahab... beliau sebenarnyer adalah name yang diberikan keutamaan oleh monggol man untuk menjadi calon menteri besor perak yang baru... tetapi dipintas tang cornar oleh pak lah...

teman adalah antara orang yang amat tak beraper gemor ng hamidah wahab nih... sebab track record dia sebagai adun adalah buruk bebenor... pendedahan hangin ini teman dengor sendiri daripada warga kampung di kota bharu gopeng...

pada tahun 2000 atau lagi awai dari itu kalau tak silap teman (cerita nih teman dengor tahun lepas, sebab memory teman kene CCleaner jadi cache nyer dah kurang), orang kampung disana berpakat untuk mengusahakan ternakan ikan air tawar di kawasan deme... dengan modal sikit sorang deme mengusahakan projek tersebut... setelah berjalan lebih setahun, income pun sudah masyuk, deme pun berusahah untuk mengembangkan perusahaan deme nih. jumpa la yb untuk minta bantuan... rhupernyer disebalik bantuan yang diberikan, projek ini diambil alih-sepenuhnyer yb hamidah untuk dijadikan projek keluarganyer... masa pengambil-alihan, alasan yang digunakan adalah projek ini adalah projek kerajaan negeri... maka deme nak manage pulak... hampeh... pening orang kampung... nak lawan tak berapa nak boleh sebab deme guna tanah kerajaan... jadinyer melopong jer la deme...

seperkara lagi... kenapa yb hamidah wahab nih yang di offer untuk menjadi MB... sebab dia lah mastermind penculikkan yb-yb katak nih... termasuk la yb nasarudin... khabaran teman nih sahih sebab keluar dari mulut ahlul keluarga deme yang terlibat... siapa??? i have to kill you if i tell you... walawei... hehehehehehe....

Reasons why I never visit my rich friend

Reasons why I never visit my rich friend
Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me
and.....

Question : "What would you like to have...? Fruit juice, Soda,
Tea, Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino, or Coffee?"

Answer : " Tea please"

Question : "Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey
bush tea, iced tea or green tea?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea"

Question : "How would you like it? Black or white?

Answer : "white"

Question : "Milk, or fresh cream?

Answer : "With milk"

Question : "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"

Answer : "With cow's milk please.

Question : "Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer : "Um, I'll just take it black."

Question : "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer : "With sugar"

Question : "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer : "Cane sugar"

Question : "White, brown or yellow sugar?"

Answer : "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water
instead."

Question : "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?"
Answer : "Mineral water"

Question : "Flavored or non-flavored?"

Answer : "I think I'll just die of thirst"